For one human being to love another: that is perhaps the most difficult of our tasks; the ultimate, the last test and proof, the work for which all other work is but preparation.
– Rainer Maria Rilke
I have always believed that romantic relationships offer us the possibility of developing ourselves psychologically and spiritually to a higher degree. In relationships where each person knows they are responsible for their self, each partner has a chance to experience being deeply accepted by another person. When couples experience a lot of negativity and unhappiness in their relationship, I believe that this is often because they have not experienced this acceptance. One of my goals when working with couples, whether straight or gay, is to help them see more clearly what they like and value about themselves and what they want to change. I assist them in seeing those aspects they deny, keep hidden and repress. Paradoxically, many people in our society struggle to accept not only their negative traits, but their positive as well! For couples where one or both partners struggle with relating in a healthy and productive way, when one or both partners has worked on their issues and either accepts or changes an aspect of their self, they may find themselves moving into a phase in the relationships where their treatment of their partner makes it possible for them to feel more trusting and open towards them. Ideally this movement is mutual and reciprocal. My goal is to help one or both members of a relationship make changes that will lead them to become available to experience a deeper more satisfying relationship with themselves and a significant other.
I also work with partners of sex addicts.