Sex Addiction, Pornography, and Romantic Obsession Therapy in Albany, NY
Compulsive sexual behavior and romantic obsession are a unique kind of struggle for an individual. When someone finds themselves engaging in an addictive sexual behavior or obsessively focusing on one person, they often experience more shame than individuals struggling with other addictions. From years of working with individuals struggling in this way, I offer a non-judgmental calm space that makes it possible to look at these patterns and develop the courage to make changes one step at a time.
A safe place to look at what is actually happening
People who come to me with these concerns almost always carry significant shame. They have often tried to stop on their own, failed, tried again, and failed again. They have made promises they have not kept — to themselves and to people they love. By the time they reach out to a therapist, they have usually been struggling for a long time.
I begin by helping the individual reduce the moral judgment they often direct at themselves. Relentless self-criticism isn’t an effective way to help a person change their behavior and in fact can make it more difficult. This is because severe self-judgment often repeats what one has already experienced and is very likely a contributing factor in the addictive behavior. What I seek to help you with is a non-judgmental approach with a heavy emphasis on observing patterns and noticing “triggers.”
If you struggle with what has been called “romantic obsession” — finding yourself thinking too often about people you feel attracted to, staying in relationships that are clearly harmful, or repeatedly returning to painful relationship dynamics — you deserve to be given a space where you can look at these patterns.
Recognizing compulsive sexual behavior and romantic obsession
The following patterns are common among individuals dealing with sex addiction, compulsive pornography use, or romantic obsession. You do not need to identify with every item — if several of them resonate, that is worth paying attention to.
Signs of compulsive sexual behavior or pornography addiction
Signs of romantic obsession or love addiction
The work of changing these patterns
My prior college teaching experience in philosophy enables me to help clients identify and reframe the thoughts, beliefs, and feelings that drive compulsive behavior. These are almost always patterns that developed for reasons — as ways of managing anxiety, loneliness, shame, or trauma. Understanding where they came from is not an excuse to continue them. It is the beginning of actually changing them.
Depending on where you are, our work might include:
If you are the partner of someone struggling
Discovering that a partner has been engaged in compulsive sexual behavior or a secret life of any kind is a profound shock. The impact is often described as a kind of betrayal trauma — disorientation, grief, confusion, and a loss of trust in one’s own perceptions. Many partners wonder what they missed, whether they were somehow responsible, and whether they can ever trust again.
I work with partners of sex addicts individually — not to keep the relationship together or pull it apart, but to help them understand what happened, process what they are feeling, and make clear-eyed decisions about what they want and need. That work belongs to them, not to their partner’s recovery process.
Questions about sex addiction therapy in Albany, NY
Compulsive pornography use and compulsive sexual behavior are recognized as serious clinical concerns that can significantly impair a person’s relationships, work, and sense of self. While diagnostic classification continues to evolve, the lived experience of people who struggle with these patterns is very real, and effective therapeutic approaches exist.
Romantic obsession refers to a pattern where a person becomes intensely, compulsively focused on another individual in ways that interfere with their daily functioning and wellbeing. It often involves idealization, obsessive thinking, fear of abandonment, and difficulty ending relationships even when they are clearly harmful.
Yes. I have experience working with partners of individuals struggling with compulsive sexual behavior. The impact on a partner can be profound — including grief, betrayal trauma, confusion, and self-doubt. Partners deserve their own space to process what they are experiencing.
Some indicators include: feeling unable to stop despite wanting to, continuing the behavior even when it causes harm to your relationships or work, feeling shame or self-loathing afterward, spending increasing amounts of time on sexual behavior or fantasy, and failed attempts to cut back. If these patterns sound familiar, a conversation with a therapist is a reasonable next step.
Yes. Like all therapy, our sessions are confidential. There are standard legal exceptions such as imminent risk of harm, but the details of your sexual behavior or pornography use are protected information and will not be disclosed without your consent.
You don’t have to keep struggling alone.
These patterns are difficult to talk about. I understand that. Reaching out is the hardest step. I respond to all inquiries within one business day, and our first conversation is a chance to see if we think it would benefit you to work with me.
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Telehealth available across NY and NJ
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